Thursday, September 11, 2008

Reasons for the Journey Part 2

I had more reasons for beginning this journey other than just vanity.  I'm not that shallow.  I mean, there was the obvious health reasons.  Heart attack, stroke, high cholesterol.  Not to mention I had a hard time bending over to tie my shoes.  I was easily winded going up a flight of stairs or having to walk quickly anywhere, which did not bode well for me having 3 young children.  So, after seeing the success that a friend of mine had at a local weight loss center here in town, I decided to check it out.  Hey, I'm no dummy.  I knew that I couldn't do it by myself.  By myself is what got me in the shape I was in anyway.  There was no way I was doing this without some accountability.  I went and met with them and liked the way the program was set up.  Then...I had to actually get on the scales.  Wha...  Okay.  I did.  And I was HORRIFIED!!  It was even WORSE than I thought.  How is this possible??!!  I just wanted to run and hide.  I guess the sweet girl(I say girl but I mean woman) could see the look in my eyes and she just said "Honey, that's why your here".

I came home and talked it over with Frank.  He gave it some thought(prayer) and said he was willing to do whatever I thought would help me the most and he would be there to support long as I stuck to it.  Okay.  Fair enough.  But I made him promise not to tell anyone what I was doing.  He kinda looked at me funny, but by now we have been together long enough that sometimes he just knows not to ask.  But, I was embarrassed.  Embarrassed that I was having to go to such an "extreme" measure.  That's the way I thought of it.  Embarrassed that I had let it get this far.  Embarrassed that I had let myself gain so much weight.  Embarrassed that I even needed help.  Why do we do that?  Why do we cut the people off that love us the most when we have situations that we can't deal with, or are too big for us?  I guess it's also that kind of mentality that I need to get in shape BEFORE I can start working out at the gym!

Anyway,  I started on the program and Frank even agreed to do it with me because he needed to loose some weight too.  Granted, not as much as I did.  My goal was 100lbs.  His around 45lbs.  I also started going to the Y, taking a step aerobics class.  Let me just say right now that I honestly thought those first few weeks of working out...I was going to die.  Literally.  It took everything I had not to get so winded that I would pass out.  But I stuck to it.  The working out and the program.  I even decided that NOT telling people was the wrong thing to do.  Because, just like I needed the centers help...I needed their help and support too.  And guess what?  No one ever looked at me like I had 3 heads or anything when I told them what I was doing to loose weight.  Everyone just encouraged me to keep going...


Aimee said...

This is the main reason I was so devestated over being pregnant again! I had lost 80 lbs. after I had Gunner and had not felt that good in years...well I will just have to do it again. I will be calling on you for support you can count on it! I am so very proud for you I really cannot put into words, cause I know what it feels like to be the "biggest" friend and how much work goes into losing it all. You should be so pround of your accomplishments...keep it up.

Ashley Griffin said...

Wow, 80lbs! that's something to be proud of too, aimee. you did it before and you CAN do it again!